She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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