break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
