I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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