do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
