My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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