I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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