if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
