hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
