so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
