do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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