Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
