Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So squirting runs in the family.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
