they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
