You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
