Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
