In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
