I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
