i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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