YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Mom said you looked used
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
