It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
