Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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