After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
