My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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