At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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