I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i already hear my dad disowning me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
