508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
