why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
