she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
