Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
