i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
