if i died would you start the facebook group?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
