a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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