So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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