We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
