How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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