How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
