Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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