so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
and you fell through a lawn chair
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
