Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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