I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
