he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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