I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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