next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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