Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize