I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
