I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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