eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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