you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
