Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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