maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
