Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
