my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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