on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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