have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
