Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
