I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
