she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What a dumb baby whore.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
