Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
