yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize