that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize